Aw man

So I follow this guy on tumblr, right? And we have this mutual following thing going on but I don't remember where he came from? But he was okay, comedy blog, laugh laugh laugh. But then... He started reblogging fandom stuff. And I can't stand it. I can't even tolerate doc who stuff anymore because I just- I don't really care for fandoms. So I unfollow them. I'm not saying fandom bloggers are bad or anything. You can't really have a blog that's bad I don't think, because they're designed to express either yourself or your opinions or whatever. But fandoms, no, not on my dashboard, not anymore. Anyways, so I go to his page so I can unfollow and there it is. It's right in his description. Blog previously known as adventurewhappiness. I don't know why, but from the start, when I saw his blog I loved it. The url was so cute, he loved adventure time and his layout was practically the whole adventure time tree-house sprawled across the page. It just made me so happy. And my heart broke when I saw what he had become. And unfollowing him was the most terrible thing. I'm sorry, Mark.

Correction: I don't hate everything about fandoms, I just hate the comedy side or the lovestruck side. I love the posts that show how poetic or amazing the writing of a show is though.Or this one. I especially like this one: harry potter related stuff

Aiight, bye, y'all.

Dank Tunes

1. I Know Girls (Body Love) - Mary Lambert

I once touched a tree with charred limbs.

The stump was still breathing,

But the tops were just ashy remains.

I wonder what it's like to come back from that,

Because sometimes I feel forest fires erupting from my wrists,

And the smoke signals sent out are some of the most beautiful things,
I've ever seen.

2. Love This - Cosmo Jarvis

I'm only human I watch stories on TV. 
They give me an ending when an ending's all I need. 

If I believe in heaven I deny myself a death. 
Dying keeps me conscious of the way I waste my breath. 

3. Electra Heart - Marina and the Diamonds

For forgiveness,
You could always pray.
That the sickness,
It could go away.

Lights, they blind me.

At the altar,

Would you pay the price?

Would you give your-

Would you give your life?

Lights, they blind me.

For forgiveness-



4. Summertime Sadness - Lana Del Rey (Ryan Hemsworth Remix)

Kiss me hard before you,

Summertime sadness.

I just wanted you to know,

That baby, you the best.

Oh my god,
I feel it in the air,
Telephone wires, above,
Are sizzling like a snare.
Honey, I'm on fire,
I feel it everywhere.
Nothing scares me anymore.



[TY to Trinh for showing me this.]

5. Million Dollar Bills - Lorde

We can leave the house, lead the party, let the people know.

Go drown the colours of our minds and watch the cars go.

Fun fact:

Apparently after Frank Ocean dropped out of Splendour, the people had to find someone new, so they called Lorde and asked if she could fill in. And after asking her dad, she got to perform in front of hundreds of people. And the crazy thing is that she's only performed a handful of times in Australia and they were in tiny clubs. Imagine that! Oh Lorde, you're really going places, holy cow. I think you can find her whole set on youtube but I don't think they have video. I think it's just audio, like from the splendour podcast or something?

And that is it from me. I hope you enjoy these dank tunes. Bye.

I'm not crying on Sundays.

• 
  Today

• 

  19:84pm
  

  Ezekiel Isaiah Zachary-Zephyr
  

  You seem happier now. - I've always been a firm believer of going exactly where life takes you. To go with the flow, to move on and to believe that everything works out perfectly. Of course, this is lazy written out prettily, but it sounds nice, don't it? And I know, that mindset didn't exactly play out very well during the mid-year exams, and I did go through a really terribly sad time, but here I am now. I'm happier. Imagine if I did pass everything. Imagine if I stayed, and I kept going for years. And for what? A degree, yes, stability, I guess, but happiness? Well, we'll never know, will we? But what matters is the present. And I'm not so sad anymore. LOL yeah, this is me looking at the bright side of my failure and it's pathetic, but tell that to my smile, and my new attitude on life. I met a friend from my old engo group the other day and they told I seemed happier. And I did. My future fears are leveling out, I'm confident in class, I don't hate myself anymore. Haha, things are bound to go wrong though. Imagine that. Rn I'm working to get into aftrs. But if I do make it in, and the pattern of me falling and picking myself up again continues, aftrs will be a bad idea. But if my life does in fact follow this simple life pattern, then whatever I do next, anything I do next, will go bad. Thank goodness life isn't that simple right? Wrongs don't become more wrongs, they become lessons, and good deeds pass off but you're still a good person. The flow doesn't exist, I make my own decisions and I follow whatever path is laid with yellow bricks. I am my own person and I will always move on because I choose to, not just because I have to. Even the most beautiful landscape will become boring if you just plant yourself down at it forever. We need to grow and reach new heights. For all my readers, for all you beautiful flowers, grow and reach new heights, and you will rise to meet happiness, whichever cloud it may lie on.

Sad, sad, sad.

Not unhappy sad, but feeling lame, sad :L So I wake up and the first thing I do is play Animal Crossing, right? And I go to the message board and they're like "Bro, meteor shower, tonightz, brah, check it out!" And the first thing that goes through my mind (well, first after "METEOR SHOWER, HECK YEAH I WANT SOME OF THAT) was "Dang it, I already have plans for tonight." LOL as in real people plans, as in I have somewhere to be, friends to be with, and I'm sad because I can't see the meteor shower IN A VIDEO GAME. That is unless I cancel last minute.... LOL I'm joking.

Anyways, let's talk about beautiful boys and cooking shows. So I've been hooked to this cooking YouTube channel, http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjwmbv6NE4mOh8Z8VhPUx1Q. Em says she looks like Selena Gomez, but her profile picture looks a lot like Miranda Cosgrove to me. Anyways, her cooking show is called Nerdy Nummies and I love it. She pretty much makes a bunch of novelty cakes based on nerdy stuff like Diablo, Star Wars, Dragon Ball Z etc etc

Usually, I wouldn't like her because she's very cutesie and it's like she's trying too hard to be kawaii but I kept watching and I love her. I love that little finger swirl thing she does when she introduces the ingredients and how she says "Nerty" Nummies. LOL I don't know, she just grew on me. And now, I'm hooked. I also love how she has a set. Like, she's getting paid by YouTube probably, and I think she's sponsored by this baking supplies shop called Michael's? She keeps mentioning him every two seconds :L "I just got these at Michael's, they're so cute!"

Anyways, so check this vid out.



LOOK AT THAT MAN. HE'S SO ATTRACTIVE BUT HE'S VERY TYPICAL ATTRACTIVE AND I WANNA SAY IT'S BORING, BUT I AIN'TS BORED. LOL Okay, he's aiight. He's a bit skinny, but look at his face. He looks good and he knows it. You can tell by the way he talks and the way he almost smolders (smolder, as in the thing the guy from Tangled does, not to burn with smoke) every now and then. It's so douchey but I love it.

Ooh, and apparently they met on Table Top which is this other YouTube channel with an actual set which has a bunch of people who are somewhat popular in the nerd culture playing board games. If you have the right people, it's pretty fun to watch. I think NigaHiga was on one of the episodes. So yeah, can't wait to see these two on TableTop too, ahhh. LOL That's all from me. I should do some work, oh lord.

I guess it's about time I posted something, right?

Okay, so I went to a concert lately and the guy was named 'Giraffage', right? And it was really fun! I love dancing. I just need to stop caring about what people think of me and just let loose. LOL As for the music, it was nice, I liked it. The people I went with were cool, very funny. I didn't know them so I was very silent in the train, but I was just laughing away at their jokes.

Anyways, so arts is aiight. Tests coming up. It's very strange, how big the change was. I had gone from formulae to readings, and I am not used to it, oh lord. But I'm determined, I need to show that this is what I can do. This can't be another engineering. I love it though, because I'm finding that I'm no longer sad, nor afraid. I'm not intimidated by the people around me because I have just as much confidence. I know, or I can pretend to know, what they're talking about. And I love it. OH MY GOD BUT ART HISTORY ANNOYS ME SO MUCH. My tutorials are pretty much me looking at paintings and nodding and going mmmm, yes, yeah, I see that. LOL Apparently Emily does exactly the same thing. And when they talk about art, the only thing that runs through my arrogant, little mind is "goddamn y'all are pretentious annoying ding-dongs". And I feel so bad, but I can't staaand that class. I just have to keep bullshitting myself through until I can move on :L

Or, until I make it into AFTRS :) Okay, I cannot get my hopes up, but I really want to get in. Or even NIDA. Because it all seems so cool. I want to walk the red carpet one day and sit in the front row at my premiere and be like, dat's mah movie. And people will clap and I'll live for the applause, applause, applause, I live for the applause-plause- yup, it got into my head. I didn't think she'd get into my head again but there she is. Say welcome back to 2010 :'( Anyways, I think, my biggest dream ever, the one thing I want to achieve in life so so very very much, is to be somewhere in the top twenty or so of bestest movies in the imdb list :L I would break down and cry if I got in there. Because, LOL, that's how I judge my fave movies. That's the one place where I've got all my fave movies from. Anyways, so I've decided to collect my love poems and make a video out of them for my AFTRS portfolio.

I know, love, ew, who needs it. But like, I'm writing all these poems and I'm getting super excited. OKAY, FINE, Y'ALL GOT ME, I'LL SPILL. So it's gonna be titled, "I Love You" (stop laughing, I know, whatever) and it's pretty much supposed to be love, but through the eyes of someone who's never loved. LOL It's supposed to be cool, hopefully it will be. And gosh darn, I hope I can get a video out by September :L Which is very close now, aye. ANYWAYS, HERE READ MY POEMS, I WAS SUPPOSED TO JUST NOT REVEAL THEM UNTIL I RELEASED THE VIDEO BUT I LIKE THEM TOO MUCH, I'M ACTUALLY SORTA PROUD, OH GOD, I'M GETTING TOO CONFIDENT:

The first one is: "Fae"

I’ve found myself constricted by a string of fairy lights,

And they keep me warm, I must admit.

Though I wish I could breathe, just a little bit.

Then there's, "Sweetness"

It’s not the cries of old men,

Who have lost age-old friends,

Nor the whimper of a lost child,

In an alley way-

He is lost,

But he must not continue being so.

It is not the death of a forest,

Or the solemn look of a forsaken dog,

That breaks my heart so,

Like the words,

“I didn’t mean for any of this.”

I have cried many times,

The underside of my pillow knows this best,

And I have yearned for solitude for years,

But never did I imagine that solitude,

Would be my downfall.

I had never for the life of me thought that I would ever hear the sweet, agonising words,

“I wish I felt the same.”

I had dreamed of the day that I would love,

And in turn, be loved back.

But like the old man who has echoed the word ‘goodbye’ a million times,

With every whisper of,

“I love you.”

I will step closer towards the end.

And it is then that you will know,

“I never meant for any of this.”

And here is, "Perfect Purpose"

There’s a haze now,

Of pastel pink,

Vision is veiled, and sight is lost.

You’ve shown yourself in colours,

Of baby blue,

And those that I’ve never seen before.

And it’s beautiful,

What you’ve done to me.

My heart beats an irregular rhythm.

It beats twice between every sweet refrain,

And I’ve named each thump after you,

One,

‘Perfect’,

and the other,

‘Purpose’.

My fingertips light up now.

They shine when I can’t find the right key late at night,

A bit tipsy,

And a lot scattered, lost and alone.

They glow like starry, little fireflies,

And I love the way they trace your jawline,

And chase your ribcage.

You are the breath in my lungs,

Right before the exhale.

You are the ocean’s tide,

But you are also the moon.

And I’m too afraid I’ll be swept out to sea.

I’m afraid the light won’t be enough.

And the very thought of this pink haze clearing up,

And the slight second palpitation disappearing,

Scares the life out of me,

So much that I’ll whimper,

And the very air that is you,

Will leave me.

Comment stuff, if you like, I love feedback. Constructive criticism breaks my heart but LOL It's v helpful, so please :L Anyways, that's all for now. A lot more has happened, but I'll tell y'all about all that later.

I CANNOT STOP LISTENING TO BEYONCE

Anyways, let's get this out of the way.

THE DOCTOR (doctor who) SHOULD TOTALLY BE A WOMAN THIS TIME. It'd be so cool. Okay, this is me being into the whole strong female character thing but ah, imagine the doctor being weird and stuff like Clara but also having the strength and angry look of a warrior, all solemn and beautiful. She don't need no man, she independent. Well, she might need a man friend, like a companion. But the companion can also be female. Whichever, whatever.

But those of you who oppose, what's wrong with a female doctor? She can make the same jokes, even more now because she can talk about the transition of bare chest to double d's. And she can be just like the doctor, but female. And really, does there have to any real difference other than appearance. Are you guys afraid that the doctor won't be the same? Because the qualities that the doctor has now really has no gender limits. A female doctor can be just as genuis and resourceful and as amazing as the doctor is now. And if your fear that the show will go downhill once it veers away from tradition, get with the times! Doctor who is one of the longest running shows in existence. Over time, of course it's changed. New social issues are represented, the doctors are getting younger, companions come in couples, maybe a woman would be a big change, but it doesn't have to be. If you look past the lashes, you still get the same, brilliant doctor. I had this talk with Eric in our whatsapp group and LOL he did raise some good points and I get what he means, but I don't agree!

I mean look  at the universe that the creators of Doctor Who have made. There are no real restrictions that say the doctor can't be fem (okay, lol, maybe there is, I didn't actually do any research, please comment if you know there actually is hahahah). The timelords aren't human, we don't know how they reproduce. Maybe they do reproduce like humans, with a man and woman, but maybe those men and women can go in between genders and make babies during the right regeneration. EVERYTHING IS PLAUSIBLE UNLESS THE DOCTOR SAYS IT AIN'T. Gosh, I'm so excited for Sunday, when they announce the new actor, I hope it's a woman. But they probably won't, knowing the majority of fans oppose. But come onnnnnn, bbc. Give us the woman and show us that she can be just as good as any other doctor. After all it's the same character. Please :'(

Anyways, I'm now trying to get into education/arts at usyd. I've given up on Engo, it ain't for me.And you know what's interesting? Sometimes when I tell people about this transition, some go, wow, that's a big change, and there are those who go, yeah, you never seemed like an engineering person. I always thought I was, but maybe that was because all I could do was science and maths. It's very strange, indeed. LOL If only I had known this earlier. Oh well. Anyways, right now, I can only do the arts part because I can pick up any edu classes without being enrolled in the degree and German is killing me. Okay, it's not, but I sit next to a guy whose degree is something like Ancient languages? And he, along with countless others in the class, are picking up German really easily and I'm struggling like a bitch. Bless him though, because although he's very smart, he's also very humble and he corrects me when I clearly don't know what I'm talking about. Oh, and get this! He's learning dead languages like Latin and Arcadian. I don't even know how he manages, he's so intimidating :'(

I also went to intro to film studies for english and film studies, they both share that unit so yay. That was a bit boring because she spent one and a half hours actually getting into the unit, but we ended it with film intros and they looked like pretty good movies.

And guys, the weirdest thing, right? I met this guy, and friend of a friend, and there was something about him. I wasn't attracted to him, but really, attracted to the idea of him???? His attitude, the way he speaks, how he dresses, his confidence, his attitude?? I didn't want him, I wanted aspects of him. He's not ugly or anything, I just ????? !!!!!! I don't know! LOL He was intriguing. I wonder why.

This is William signing out. Bye, guys.